My Young Children Don’t Want an Old Step-father

Question: Dear Luise: I’m madly in love in with a man who is 11 years older than ( am.  I’m 40 and he is 51.  While our interest are common and we get along great, my children (age 12 and 6) feel he is too old.  The enjoy being around him but feel he is too old for me to settle down with. I love my children and don’t want to to ignore their feelings about this situation. I want to marry this man as soon as possible. What should I do? I.

Answer: Dear I: Taking your children into consideration and taking orders from your children, are two entirely different things.

The age difference is for you to resolve. They are getting a step-dad they like and that’s a lot more important than one that is the right age, (whether they know it or not.) If someone hadn’t told them of the 11-year discrepancy, they probably wouldn’t have known the difference or cared.

Let your children know that you will not pick out partners for them when they marry because that will be their choice and also…that you expect to be with this guy for decades after they both leave home and establish independent lives for themselves.

Beyond that…full speed ahead! Blessings, Luise

One Response to My Young Children Don’t Want an Old Step-father

  1. S. August 27, 2009 at 4:01 pm #

    I agree with Luise’s comments. Also, you are choosing the spouse- not the kids. If he makes a great husband and wonderful father, age is not a consideration. Use your adult instincts and knowledge to make the decision that’s best for you and your kids. S.

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