Why Won’t He Support Me?

Question: Dear Luise: I have been married for the past three years and have a son who is 2 and half years old. My concern is that my husband doesn’t understand me and each day tries to find new excuses to blame me for that. He is more attached to his parents and feels that I’m not respecting them or taking care of the child right. He doesn’t even support me emotionally or financially. I guess he has a big ego, because I’m better placed than he is, career-wise. He is also dependent on his parents and hates being independent. I still love him and want him back in my life. But now he even refuses to talk to me. I’m in a dilemma and don’t know what to do? S.

Answer: Dear S.: There is a necessity for both men and women to step up to the plate when they marry. Some make it and some don’t. It sounds like your husband wants to remain a child. It also sounds like his family supports that.

If you are a career woman, you may not fit his parent’s concepts of your role as wife and mother. How you live your life may confuse or even anger them. They may want and believe in a more passive profile for women. Whatever is going on, they are helping to drive a wedge between you.

My sense is that the gap may be too great to resolve. If he won’t talk to you or meet you half way, it isn’t something you can fix alone. You can love him deeply and miss him profoundly and still not be able to live with him. Blessings, Luise

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