Question: Dear Luise: My son is 33 years old, has been married for 10 years and has three children. Our relationship became strained when he decided at 18 to leave college and move in with his now wife. His father and I have been lied to, cussed at, slandered, and we have been deeply hurt. His two sisters have broken off all contact with him because of the problems he has caused for them. He has blamed me for things I have not done, calling his wife names, and not wanting to see my grandchildren, ect. A few months ago, he broke off all contact with us. Apparently over something that happened a couple of months ago with his sister. I have been continueing to send cards, which he has begun to return, “refused”, he has not returned any phone calls, and on last Christmas, would not come to the door of his house when we tried to drop off presents to the kids. Last week, in a chance encounter with him at a grocery store, he told us, that his kids dont know us anymore, and they want nothing to do with us, so leave them alone. I dont know what to do anymore. I believe part of this is his wife, as she did the same thing to her father and now has no contact with him at all. OUr family was strongly united and now, over the last four years is disintegrated into this. What can I do to mend this situation? C.
Answer: Dear C.: You can’t do anything. You have raised your son, done a good job and your work is finished. You can’t alter his choices or change him. He’s on his own path. Please bring your issue over to the Web-forum I’ve designed for women struggling with adult children and extended families. Having support and understanding as you go through this may help. www.WiseWomenUnite.com Blessings, Luise