Question: My son met his now ex wife while in basic training, she got pregnant, discharged from the army, and him and her finally married, baby was born, and they were living by the assigned military base. I met her once and she didn’t like me or his siblings because we don’t have money, her family has money. She never let’s me know about my granddaughter and won’t even let me send my granddaughter presents, i.e., Christmas, birthday, etc., My son went to Iraq 2 weeks after she was born and the ex wife said we are not allowed to text her call her, email her or anything. Nothing illegal happened for her to do that. I mean she only does that because I’m poor. While my son was in Iraq she always called his commander and told the commander that my son wasn’t giving her enough money, he gave her $800.00 a month. Now that he’s back and my granddaughter is going to be 3, I still haven’t seen her yet, the ex refuses, and now the ex is going back into the army and my son has been hoping to have his daughter while the ex is in basic training, but his ex always calls him and tells him to send money and more money, and threatens to call his commander all the time. I’m worried her complaining will get my son in trouble with his commander, I’m sick of his ex doing this, and I want to see my granddaughter, I’m here with my son on the hopes that he will have his daughter while the ex is in basic. What can I do, I’m frustrated, and mad. I don’t know my rights. We live in Texas and my granddaughter is with her mom in New Jersey. Please help me, I don’t have $. Please I want to know and see my granddaughter. C.
Answer: Dear C.: My take is that this is primarily your son’s problem. You can back him up but your role, as grandmother, seems secondary to me.
He needs legal advice. There must be some way that he can get that pro bono. For instance, what rights does the divorce decree give him? Perhaps his commanding officer can point him in the right direction for free legal council since he has first-hand knowledge of your son’s ex and what a trouble-maker she is.
Don’t let your son give up. There has to be an answer that is fair. He has rights, as a father…and the baby has a right to know her dad AND grandma. Blessings, Luise