Question: Dear Luise: We have a 20 yr old daughter . she has a 2 year old son. She lives with the boyfriends mother and a his, theirs, unmarried disfunctional family. That is filthy.She is so messed up,They fight constantly, the boyfriend is unemployeed, very abusive to her , and can’t hold a job. She has a job, but in July she will be starting cosmotology school about 30 mi. away from where she lives. She will have no means of income unless she can find a part time job. I hope we don’t get stuck with the car payment, I co signed for. She has her own insurance, but it gets taken out of my bank acct. because she cant keep $ in her bank acct. I/ we help her all that we can and take the grand baby when we can. She hates us and has stated so. We love her and the baby. I have tried to be sociable to the boy friend and his family, they lie all the time so I limit what I say because they twist it. I have prayed for God to help me see them through His eyes, it is so hard knowing the situation and every time something happens. I know my daughter is no angel( for sure- she is tough and demanding). I just need to get some help to know what to do to make our lives more livable.with out getting used. we own an auto repair shop in central NY. that is overwhelming in its self. My husband and I are at our wits end with the situation. P.
Answer: Dear P. You are taking abuse and asking nothing. That is too much to ask of your self. You can’t fix it (or them.) As hard as it may sound, I would cut her loose and let them all deal with their poor choices and abusive behavior. Blessings, Luise