Question: Dear Luise: How do you talk about money/job matters with adult children (son and daughter-in-law) without anger? K.
Answer: Dear K.; You pretty much don’t…because they are adults, even if in name only, and it’s their business, not ours. They need to be turned loose and left to their own devices. We no longer provide money (“loans”), food or shelter and they learn as they go. Simple but not easy.
What’s up for adult children is how to make choices and the consequences of poor ones. If they ask for feedback and advice, we can be there for them but we need to let go of what they do with that advice. If they don’t ask, we watch, silently, and many of us pray a lot.
If you feel you need support, please come over to my Web-forum. We are at www.WiseWomenUnite.com Most of us are struggling with the same issue…”How do we stop being parents to floundering, young adult children who look like they still need us…and let them mature?” It’s pretty similar to how we watched them try to walk, fall and cry when they were babies. If we had picked them up and protected them from that and carried them, they would never have learned to walk and would have become cripples. Blessings, Luise