Uprooting My Grandson

Question: Dear Luise:  Grandchild has lived with me since 5 mos. old, now almost 12. Gained legal custody 3 years ago, now parents are trying to force him to go live with them. They have paid no child support ( over 15.000.00 behind.) Indian tribe is involved, but only on the parents side, no regards to the fact that uprooting this child from the security and stability of home would do. Parents have thumbed their noses at the court and are getting by with it. If I lose my grandchild what can I do to get the court to grant visitation (that it would be in the best interest of the child). Judge has agreed to talk to my grandchild, so there is a glimmer of hope. P.

Answer: Dear P.: Your situation is too complex to address here. You need a really good attorney to advise and represent you. You grandson deserves a lot better than what is happening. He is so lucky to have you as an advocate. Blessings, Luise


2 Responses to Uprooting My Grandson

  1. C. April 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm #

    My daughter and grandson live with my husband & I. She is 25 yrs old with a 3 yr old son. We have helped care for our grandson since birth.
    She has a full time job with off the wall hours, we have always baby-sat for her. She had no idea how to care for her son, she even suffered from postpartum depression for awhile.
    My husband & I basically did it all-cared for our daughter & our grandson.
    She has dated off & on but , now she has been seeing a man that is raising his 2 children (both from different mothers, whom he says he is no longer with and are off in college/careers. ?),
    living with his mother, he has no job and no car. I feel he is using my daughter because she makes good money & has a car. Ive confronted her about how I feel about this guy.
    So now I’m supposedly a racists & I am taking control of her life. She has never spoke to me this way before. The words she speaks to me doesn’t sound like her.
    Now when she leaves she tells me she’s staying at her girlfriends house to visit and well be gone for 4 to 5 days at a time.This has gone on for a few months now.
    I believe she is splitting up her time between this guy & her girlfriend. She makes comments to me sometimes saying there so much more going on in my life but if I told you you would get very mad.
    Sometimes I feel like she is provoking me or my husband to argue with her. I guess its easier for her to take off a few days at a time when that happens.
    She forces my grandson to go every week even when he says “No Mommy lets stay home this time.” We even offer for her to go have a good time tonight and leave him home. She wont.
    I cant even make a comment about her not being home and her son being juggled around night after night because when I do she’s stays gone longer.
    I love my daughter but I hate what she’s doing to her self and my grandson! I want my grandson around as much as possible.
    I think she still suffers from depression but refuses to get help. She ignores me when I mention this or roles her eyes at me. What to do? C.

    • Luise April 25, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

      Your daughter sounds like she has no respect for you. If that’s the case, if may be that you have no respect for yourself. It isn’t your job to be in the middle of this mess.

      She is an adult. She needs to live on her own, learn the hard way how difficult that is and grow up. You are supporting her abuse. You dserve better and she needs to become a responsible adult…so she can respect herself, as well.

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