Question: Dear Luise: I was with this guy for 6months and everything was going fine and I fell in love with him and he was in love with me. He is a Christian and I am not. One day he calls me up and tells me he cant be with me because his pastor said no one should have a girlfriend or a boyfriend until they are ready. (?) I still talk to him and go see him all the time. Should I stop seeing him for a while or what should I do? I love this man with all my heart and I want to be with him and he wants to be with me but he doesn’t want to disappoint his pastor or God what should I do? L.
Answer: Dear L.: This is a tough question and a very touchy subject.
My grandfather was a much-loved pastor and so was my son. Through that experience, I learned that they were just imperfect people doing a good job, (some of the time at least), of inspiring others. They weren’t an extension of God and they didn’t “know all.”
If we give pastors special powers and let them make our choices for us, I think, personally, that it’s a cop-out. We can all seek spiritual guidance without having to go through another human being to get it. That’s how we learn and grow into mature, responsible people who make wise choices.
Christianity can be a wonderful path to follow or it can be a way to “be right”, which I don’t see as being wonderful. It can be one-upmanship that puts others down and doesn’t live up to it’s own principals. The same can be true of any religion because it’s up to the believer how it’s lived.
I would suggest you back off and look elsewhere for a partner. Love needs a lot of support to thrive and such differing beliefs aren’t supportive. Blessings, Luise