Question: Dear Luise, my question is; why do I feel unappreciated by my sons as a mom? I have two sons one 18 and the other 29, they do not live with me. I have noticed I am the one who calls them; they do not really reach to me, even when I offer myself they seem to ask other people instead for help. My last sad experience was this Mother’s day, My oldest left me a card with his girl friend when I visited his home but it did not feel personal, I did not see him that day he was working. The youngest never acknowledges Mother’s Day or my B-Day and simply does not celebrate any day with me like he does with his dad. I feel unappreciated. T.
Answer: Dear T.: You feel unappreciated because you are. We have to do a lot of things our kids don’t like to be good parents and often the job is more the mother’s than the father’s. Many adult children harbor resentment.
Most of us have a picture in our minds regarding how we think it will all turn out and it seldom meets our expectations. I know when my eldest son decided I was to blame for every problem he had in his adult life, I was baffled and hurt. That didn’t fit my expectations at all. He did “duty” stuff and that made me feel even worse.
Please come over to my Web-forum: www.wisewomenunite.com and shareyour situation with us. There is a lot of support waiting for you there. Blessings, Luise