Question: Dear Luise, I am completely beyond myself with grief. My son and his wife had my grandchild 14 months ago. At the time and for the first 7 months of his life, they were living with us so my grandson and I are very close. After my son moved out I was able to see my grandson twice a week for sleepovers and day visits. My son has a drug problem that I have continued to express my concern over since he moved out on his own. He has continued to tell me that If I say anything I will no longer be able to see my grandson. Well, it finally came to a head a couple of weeks ago when, after a sleepover, my husband took my grandson home. The entire house was filled with pot smoke. My son also has come over to my house to pick up my grandson stoned and I’m hearing from my oldest son that my son puts my grandson in his crib and lets him be by himself and cry for over 2-3 hours while he turns up his music loud and plays his video games so that he doesn’t have to hear the baby. When my husband came home and told me the house wreaked of pot smoke we decided (finally) to call the police. Of course now I am unable to see my grandchild and there’s no future plans of being able to see him. The police report was filed with CPS who called me and I told them everything that was going on. They told me, of course, there was not enough immediate danger to the child to do anything about it so they closed the case. Now I feel like I’ve done this all for nothing b/c I can’t see my grandson. But I also feel responsible for not saying anything for so long! What he’s doing is not healthy for my grandson. Please give me your advise on what to do… I can’t stand seeing my only grandson go through this but I don’t feel like I can allow his dad to continue to treat hiw own son this way. Regards, L.
Answer: Dear L.: What a heartbreaking situation. Please see an attorney to find out if you have any recourse, legally. Some states in the U.S. have Grandparent Rights. You deserve so much better and so does your grandson. Also, please consider coming over to my Web-forum where this kind of issue is discussed. I think you will find personal support there. Blessings, Luise