Question: Dear Luise: A friend of 40 years is going through a difficult time at work. In a nutshell, she has been treated badly and most unfairly. As a result she has literally shut down. No more joy in her voice or even in her emails. It frightens me because she does shut people out and that would break my heart. We’ve both discussed this to death but I am very concerned. I am visiting her this weekend and hoping to keep it light. But if she wants to talk about it should I let her? We are both very intuitive when it comes to the little girl within from the adult; but that little girl’s pain still gets in our way. K.
Answer: Dear K.: We all have different levels of sensitivity and our own unique way of reacting to unfairness. There was a time I didn’t see it this way, but I now feel that no job is worth suffering abuse of any kind. It causes everything from depression to cancer.
The child in your friend is part of her and needs to be healed when this kind of situation arises. We have many reasons why we must stay in our job, but if something happens to us and we suddenly pass on, someone quickly fills it. We can get hooked on maintaining a certain standard of living…justifications abound but, bottom line, we matter more than anything else.
I suggest she move on…she deserves the best that self-love can offer. Blessings, Luise.