Question: Dear Luise: when I was pregnancy with my first baby my motherinlaw made a comment to me that she ain’t going to help me with my baby. I did not take it serious because I am a very independent person.When I have my son she really never be a grandmother but she always go to babysit the other grandkids(my husband’s brother kids).She can spend two to three days with other grandkids but not mine. me and my husband talk to her about that but she never change.I really want her to know her grandkids.I am from the different country sometimes I feel like may be that is the reason I feel like she do not accept me or my kids.I got so tired to try to get relationship with her.When we have get together her and one of my sisterinlaw show me, myhusband and my kids a lot of drama which are not necessary.My older son is 4 years old and I think he start to notice the ploblem.Is it a good idea to avoid her? G.
Answer: Dear G.: The is no way to change a person. Your MIL is missing out on having a relationship with you and your kids and it’s her loss. All of you deserve so much better. Yes, stay out of her way. She is being abusive. There is also no way to keep the kids from noticing her favoritism and maybe her prejudice. Do your best to let them know that you don’t understand it either…and be sure to remind them how wonderful they are.
If you would like some support please come over to my Web-forum where a community of women share such issues and help each other. We are at: www.WiseWomwnUnite.com Blessings, Luise