Should He Close the Door

Question: Dear Luise: My husband has 2 children and has been divorced for several years. She became pregnant during the separation by another man. She always claimed he was the father but had no proof otherwise. She has always made his life a living hell through the child support system. Once we got married, she would make comments about the past and what they could have accomplished together and try to make the kids against me. Recently he found out that the one of the children is not his child. He and the child are not close. She forced him unwillingly to be the father through the law. To continue this superficial stressful relationship is pointless and extremely stressful with the ongoing court cases. I think once his child turns 18 that communication should discontinue with the other child, for his own sanity, so that the mother can move on. Why give 50% as a father, while the other child gets 100%? A.

Answer: Dear A. It seems to me that these are all questions your husband should be asking. Even though you can’t help but be deeply affected by all of this, the whole thing has to be sorted out between your husband, his ex-wife and the legal system.

Certainly with all of the legalities, a DNA test must have been done to get him off the hook after his fatherhood was falsified.

Best to back him up and back off. I think that’s the safest position for you to take. Blessings, Luise

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