Question: Dear Luise: My daughter-in-law and my two grand daughters has been homeless now a little over a year. She has been staying with relatives here and there. Me and my mother have been keeping the kids majority of the time. But, lately she has been dropping by in the day time and leaving them here at night or taking them out in the cold if we don’t want to baby sit. I ask her if I could just keep one grandkid who is here all the with me and her mom who keeps the other grandkid, which is what her mother wants to do until she gets things taken care of. Or she could stay with me but not run off so much and attend to her kids. Well she told me she don’t think so. I feel bad that I had to ask her that but, at the same time I feel like she is using us. Please give me some advice! D.
Answer: Dear D.: Of course she is using you. It sounds to me like you are doing the best you can and so is her mother. It is the children that are being hurt. I can’t help from here, it is the local authorities that you need backing you up. There are organizations out there that can take her children away from her if the right methods are followed to accomplish that. However, she could convince them that she was doing OK or she could run and take the children with her. The Welfare system, and that includes the Foster Care system and the Child Protection Agency, defend neglected children. Talk to your Minister, Priest, and even the local Police to see if there is anything they know of that you can do. And see an Attorney if they so advise.
Those kids need you and their other grandmother. Their mother may be on drugs or mentally ill. They need advocates and you two are probably pretty much it. Don’t give up. Blessings, Luise