Question: Dear Luise: I’m a first time writer to your website but I’m in need of serious advice. My boyfriend is the middle child of two sisters so he is basically the only boy in the family making him “mommys baby”. My mother- in- law is supposedly jealous, she has basically told my sister-in- law and one of my boyfriends best friends and god only knows who else that she likes me but she doesn’t understand why I’m always around… at times I can ignore it but there are other times where she is so mean and nasty that it makes me uncomfortable and at times makes me and my boyfriend fight. Recently, I’ve been getting worse always having a doubt in my head that his mom is going to convince him that he doesn’t need to be with me. I’ve been with my boyfriend 2 years and since day one I’ve never seen him be influenced by anyone… and when I’ve spoken with him about it he’s told me that he doesn’t care what his mom says because he’s the one dating me not her. I just really don’t know what to do and I don’t want this to come between me and my boyfriends relationship. H.
Answer: Dear H.: What you see and experience is what you get with your mother in law. She isn’t going to change for the better. I know of nothing that you can do because it isn’t about you, even though she tries to make it look that way.
It all comes down to how much you care about the guy. My guess is that she is always gong to be in your face and may get worse as time goes by. It you feel he is worth it, stay. It sounds like he is holding his own. There’s not way to predict whether he will cave later on, however. You deserve so much better. If you want to, come on over to my Web-forum, www.WiseWomenUnite.com where these issues are discussed and support is given. What you are up against is way too common. Blessings, Luise