Question: Dear Luise: My wife and I have been married for 6 years. Last year she gave birth to a healthy, great, baby boy. He is now 14 months old. She had clinically diagnosed post-partum and was on meds for 6mo. Her depression is translated to anger. It’s now 14 months and she is back to being nasty around him and I. She keeps asking me if I will love her even though she’s not a great Mom. I’m nearing the end of my rope. She doesn’t like being a Mom and can only be around him for a short period of time. I’m doing everything. She finally agreed to go back to counseling but what do I do If she doesn’t get better? Any help is appreciated. S.
Answer: Dear S.: Let’s hope that your wife responds to additional counseling and you all come thorough this relatively unscathed. I would also strongly suggest that you get her to a Naturopath that specializes in women’s issues to see if the problem is nutritionally based.
In the event that the problem persists, you are probably going to need to find a live-in sitter. You need counseling as well. Please get some serious support ASAP.
It’s a myth that all women are naturally great moms. The problem that comes to the surface is how can you know in advance? Some women “just know” and are careful not to take on that role, but often there is the assumption that nature will prevail and all will go well. That’s not always true, as you have found out. Even in the animal kingdom, females sometimes reject their young. No one knows why.
Good for you for stepping up to the plate but it sounds like it’s getting to be too heavy a load. This issue goes beyond the question and answer format. It’s time for a professional to step in to steer you through it as skillfully as possible before your son becomes damaged by rejection. I have no idea if your wife’s anger puts him in danger but don’t discount that possibility.
The most important thing to remember is you simply can’t handle this alone on a permanent basis. Blessings, Luise