Question: Dear Luise: I’ve been with my husband for 10 years, we’ve been married for nearly 3 of those years. We have two wonderful children and are very happy together. For the most-part we have a fantastic love life, very experimental and neither of us are embarrassed about sharing fantasies etc. We’re very open with one another. However, I have a problem that’s only started happening in the last couple of months. We’ll be very tactile with each other all day, and both of will be wanting sex that evening, but when it comes to ‘crunch time’, I completely lose interest. No, that’s the wrong word, it’s like I get this mental block, like an emotional wall comes up and I can’t bring myself to do anything. This is hurting my husband tremendously, he feels pushed away and unloved, he’s started to ask me what it is that he’s done wrong. He hasn’t done anything wrong! I’m distraught over the fact that I’m hurting him so much. Absolutely heart-broken, that I don’t know how to stop doing this. I’ve tried just ignoring that ‘wall’, and sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn’t. It’s not fair on him at all. I don’t want to lose my marriage over this, I love him so much. Please help me figure out what’s going on! L.
Answer: Dear L.: You are in crisis. This is not the venue to address it. You don’t have a question and answer situation, you need a therapist that will work with you to figure out what’s going on…ASAP! Tell your husband you don’t have a clue and you just hate it…he will back you 100%. Blessings, Luise