Question: Dear Luise: I often feel a sense of wanting to be someplace else. I am surrounded by friends and family, have a successful career, and live in comfort. I want to learn to enjoy where I am and what I have and learn to honestly feel a deeper sense of contentment. Can you advise me? My life seems mundane and predictable…”stale” for want of a better word. This is an old pattern and one I have followed all too often in my life. I’m not eager to mess things up just to alleviate the boredom. I want to be thoughtful in my pursuits and peaceful where I am. Why is that so hard to achieve? Max
Answer: Dear Max: Some of us are more comfortable with routine and the “same ‘ole” than others. Certainly everything in life looses it’s newness and novelty with time. Relationships “settle in” and infatuation cools. A career looses it’s mystery and becomes something we can expect to be a certain way. Even people with high adrenalin jobs like emergency vehicle M.T.s can find the adrenalin rush part of a night’s work. How each one of us perceives routine, however, is very individualized. I know people and you must, too, who love routine and are not comfortable out of their very deep and predictable ruts.
How astute of you to recognize your pattern of seeking change and to know where it leads and how it’s affected others. You are also ahead of the pack in realizing that your life is going very well and is what you want, despite your restlessness. It’s time to look closely at what stimulates you and weave that into the fabric of your life. Some people take on building their own home as a side-project, others schedule a Safari in Africa. We all know of people who take in homeless children or who give endlessly of their time and talents to specific charities. New hobbies are a source of joy for others, or studying something never tackled before. For instance, my Dad, in his eighties, started learning foreign languages and staying in other coutries for protracted periods of time to seriously practice them. You need this, Max. You are one of those. Give this some serious thought, budget for it and make it clear to those around you that you are expanding your horizons while continuing to “run-in-place”. If the first attempt doesn’t quite do it, or feels like an outright failure, go back to the drawing board and see what’s next. You have the right to seek adventure, Max. Go for it! Blessings, Luise