Question: Dear Luise: I have been in a relationship with a married man for over three years. We had a bad spell once and he left me, but he came back and we mended our fences. For a long time everything went well but recently, he left again. Do you think I should just hang in there and wait him out? I really love him and don’t know what to do. Sincerely, Rachael
Answer: Dear Rachael: What an interesting question. What do you base the idea on that you have something to lose? How can a non-relationship end?
I don’t know how smart the man is that you have been playing house with, or how smart his wife is not to smell a rat…but I don’t think you’ve thought a real thought in a long time. Come on! Wake up!
You are a person. You deserve respect for heaven’s sake. You have good qualities and something to offer that is of value on a permanent basis. Someplace along the line you’ve accepted the concept that second best is OK, and leftovers are fine. Not so. They are virtually valueless.
If you were brought up believing that women aren’t worth considering…expand your horizons. Do some reading, get some group counseling, join a church, venture forth into the real world. What you’ve been putting up with is not real…and you have been contributing to the ultimate sadness of another person, Romeo’s wife. Not a good foundation for self-respect.
Who cares if he’s coming back or not? Change the locks and turn up the stereo so loud that you can’t hear the doorbell. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re worth saving! Blessings, Luise