Question: Dear Luise: I am a Mom of 3 and I am having problems with my sisters. My youngest sister moved into town and she has a daughter who is very wild and inappropriate. She started going to my son’s school and now we have to see her everyday. I don’t have a relationship with my sisters anymore because I told one sister that I found the niece to have many problems and I didn’t want my kids around that. She curses and has violent tantrums and her mother has a temper as well. All of a sudden they both stopped talking to me and now my Mom is upset at me and constantly telling me the niece has changed. I don’t want her around my kids she has tried to touch my son inappropriately when they were playing in the room she is 6 and he is 8 I heard him screaming get off of me and she was trying to lay on top of him. That was the last time she was ever at my house or around my kids except in public situations like at the school. My Mom doesn’t even visit my kids anymore because she has sided with them and they are all talking about me to other relatives saying I think I am better than them. I don’t think that way at all I just watch my kids closely and don’t want them being around chaos like that..the yelling and screaming and tantrums. My sister does not watch her kid lets her watch R rated movies and doesn’t care who watches her as long as she can go out and get drinks. My Mom thinks this is all okay and tells me I need to lighten up and I hover over my kids too much. Which I find funny because my kids are all doing amazing in school, church and are happy respectful kids. I love being with my kids and she would rather go clubbing while my Mom watches her kid.This has caused so much stress in the family and everything was fine before she moved into town and now there is just chaos and tension and I haven’t attended any family functions so I wouldn’t have to be around that but I am tired of this all and don’t know what to do. S.
Answer: Dear S.: My take is that you can’t change any of it because you can’t change others. What you are doing is sticking by your principles and defending your children at great cost. My hat is off to you. Blessings, Luise