Question: Dear Luise: Is there any way to feel normal about food, if you never have? I can remember craving sugar in the form of candy and baked goods as long as I can remember anything. I recall being sneaky way back to forever, taking slices off a cake that was put away for the next meal and trying to erase the evidence and then swiping change to buy penny-candy. There never was enough. I never felt satisfied or full. I know as an adult it has a lot to do with never feeling complete or whole or deserving. However, knowing that doesn’t make it go away. I’ve read books and joined groups. In my forties weight started to become as issue and I started on the diet merry-go-round. It never goes anywhere, of course. It’s never handled. Is this just something I have to live with…trying but never succeeding? Thanks, Sue
Answer: Dear Sue: I believe that for some it is a lifelong struggle and I also know of people who have suffered as you do and have eventually put it behind them. There is no one program or method that works for all…that’s the unvarnished truth. Those who find “The Way” have found what works specifically for them but it may not work at all for the next sufferer. Each of us must find his/her own answer.
On the path to wholeness and fulfillment, we often fixate on the area in our lives where we see the greatest evidence of failure. It’s not food for everyone, as you know. When it is food, we look around us and think, “if only I could eat as simply and as easily as she does, I’d weigh what I did I high school”. But she may be secretly admiring you and saying to herself, “if only I wasn’t a workaholic. She seems to be able to take or leave it.”
Very few of us are whole. Some pretend to be but usually they only fool themselves. We work most of our lives to solve our own personal riddle that centers around what we haven’t conquered yet. It could be Bingo!
I have a suggestion but/and I first want to say “don’t give up”! Life is an unfolding for most of us. It’s a path of learning and growing and to stop both doesn’t usually bring comfort, it brings a living death. Keep on reading books, keep on joining groups and keep on looking under the leaf that is under the leaf that is under the leaf of your experience of being you.
OK. If you haven’t yet heard of Geneen Roth, she may be your next step toward freedom. For the last three decades her “Breaking Free” workshops have helped literally thousands to move through and beyond emotional eating. And her books, like “Feeding The Hungry Heart,” “Why Weight?: A Guide to Ending Compulsive Eating,” and “Breaking Free from Emotional Eating” have opened doors for compulsive eaters all over the world. You can also get her seven hour seminar, “When Food Is Food and Love Is Love” on six CDs.
It’s not impossible to feel normal about food. If we say so, nothing’s impossible!