Question: Dear Luise: OK, so me and my mom just moved in with my dad in florida. this just ruined my whole summer. my mom said she did it for me because i always said how much i wanted to move to florida and be with my dad. she asked me 2 months ago if i was sure that i wanted to go and i said yes, i didnt know it would ruin my summer ! and now that we got here i dont really like my dad because he smokes alot and drinks alot. i dont want a parent like that. what do i do ? J.
Answer: Dear J.: It is pretty hard to make a choice like that without more to go on. It sounds like your mom was trying to give you the space to help her decide, which is wonderful, but how could you know without a trial run? Neither of your thought about that, apparently, and I’m not sure I would have either. A “visit” might have been better.
Now you’re stuck. Talk to your mom and explain that you had a lot of fantasies about your dad and you are sorry they colored your decision. Ask her how she feels about the second-hand smoke and the drinking. She may not be any happier with it than you are. The summer isn’t over yet…and you both deserve better. Blessings, Luise