Why Is My Son Distancing Himself?

Question: Dear Luise: I feel that my 4.5-year old son is growing distant from me, and I am not sure how to stop or reverse that process (before it’s too late). I am divorced since he was one, his father is remarried, and obviously there are a lot anxieties around that and visitation. I also used to travel a lot for my work, and he stayed with my mom, while I was away. Or I had long hours at my job. We also had problems with my mother at home. Previously, he was always happy and cherished every moment with me, and now I do get to spend more time with him, but I feel that it is not the same. One, he is growing up, but two, he is becoming more withdrawn, sometimes angry, self-sufficient, and more of the leave-me-alone type of attitude. I want to bring our closeness back, I am very afraid that he may grow up and things will stay that way, or worse, he will hate me. Thanks. K.

Answer: Dear K.: Just guessing but your son may have been moved around from person to person more than he was able to cope with and may be distancing out of distrust, anger or fear. I would find a good child psychologist and get on it (and into it) right away. Blessings, Luise

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