Question: Dear Luise: I’m not sure how to handle this behavior from my husband. He holds me and my kids down and tickles us or pounds on our chests with his fist. This usually goes on every day. He holds us against our will. He doesn’t let go until we start to cry. He holds my 11 year-old son on the floor, (face down,) and holds his hands behind his back and my husband pounds on his back with his fist and tells him that’s how a cop would arrest someone. How do I handle this? I know its abuse. I’m tired of it. J.
Answer: Dear J.: How long did it take you to get tired of it? Anything over twenty-four hours, (that’s just one performance on your husband’s part), is beyond my imagination. You husband needs help but in the meantime, protect your kids.
Depending on where you live, there are advocates for abused families. Where I live, it’s the Child Protective Agency, the Battered Women Shelters and the Police.
You can’t “handle” your husband, you need to end the terrible torture he is inflicting on everyone. Beyond the pounding, tickling is also seen as aggressive behavior after a few seconds. The goal is to make everyone cry. If you were childless, you would be free to stay, (if being a victim was something that made sense to you)…but as a mother, you are responsible for your children and how they view the world. Seeking outside intervention is the only way I know of to protect them. Take action. Blessings, Luise