Question: Dear Luise: Thank you for having a website where others can share the problems they may have with their families. It is very helpful! My daughter-in-law blocks me out whenever I say something she doesn’t want to hear. Last weekend I was in the car with my son and daughter-in-law and said something my daughter-in-law blocked out again. Then she told me that I dwell on things too much. My son I’m sure has told her this. But I felt she was talking out of turn as she blocks both of us whenever she feels like it. Her two sons also ignore people and act like they don’t hear them. This has caused me lots of pain as I feel cut off when she does this. Any suggestions? C.
Answer: Dear C.: That’s a tough one. Your son seems to be up against the same thing as you are…while condoning it at the same time. Of course you feel you are being cut off…because you are!
Not only does your DIL “rule to roost” by her totally disruptive and ill-mannered behavior…her children are learning to do the same thing.
When another person doesn’t want to know what you are thinking and will not listen to what you are saying, there isn’t anything I know of that you can do. Whatever you say will invariably be turned against you. She is rude to the extreme and in her eyes you probably don’t exist except as an inconvenience. You can’t change that.
There are people who are so self-absorbed that they never really listen to anyone else. (They only “dwell on” and are interested in what’s going on in their own lives!) I hope that’s not what you’re up against but that’s my guess regarding what’s going on. The only thing I know of to do is to keep your thoughts to yourself. They aren’t welcome or treated with respect and that pretty much says it all.
Thank you for voicing your appreciation for my website. Please consider coming over to my web-Forum. There’s a lot of support and understanding available there, as well. You will find it at: http://www.motherinlawsunite.com Blessings, Luise