Question: Dear Luise: My 41 year-old brother is turning my 14 year-old son against me and now it is getting upsetting. I feel like I have no power left and I don’t know what else to do. H.
Answer: Dear H.: Is there someone in your family who can talk with your brother if he won’t listen to you? He needs to know that he is doing serious harm and back off.
Boys your son’s age quite naturally want to move into independence. Most of them are far from ready and need more monitoring, not less. It’s often a tough situation even when everyone pulls together. Your brother needs a heads up from someone in authority if he can’t respect your position and the gravity of his attitude.
Boys often adore their mothers when they are younger but then in their teens they can find those same mothers to be a liability not an asset. Separation is necessity for maturity to take hold but it can be one rocky road for many of us. It sure was for me.
Talk to a psychologist, if you get a chance. You are right to be concerned. Blessings, Luise