My Brother Hates My Mom

Question: Dear Luise: My mom did her best to raise me and my younger brother. Sure mistakes were made but that’s not important she loves us very much still. my brother just doesn’t see it and he attacks my mom mentally emotionally and very rarely physically. now he is stuck at her home were they cant get away from each other because of his probation. how do i help my mom see she is not as bad as my brother makes her feel? please i cant stand to see her this depressed. P.

Answer: Dear P: Your mom is really lucky to have you in her corner on this. Many women have to face it alone. Does she use a computer? If so, direct her to It is a forum I started several years ago for mothers being hated by their sons. It is the most common question on this website and most mothers feel totally overwhelmed by it.

No one, as far as I know, can change your brother’s perceptions and how he presents them. Setting boundaries is really hard but that’s what has to be done. Your mom may need help with that. Her respect for herself needs to be reclaimed. What’s happening is abuse.

Please let her know that my Web-forum is a loving community where she will be heard and understood. A great deal of healing happens there. She deserves so much better. And what a special person you are for caring! Blessings, Luise

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