Question: Dear Luise: I have a 13 year old son who hates me. I have been the best mom I know how to be. The problem is my son has been spoiled. He is also has been raise in a split home. His dad and I have been separated since he was a baby. His dad has a wife who is in competition with me. She does evil things. It it horrible. I don’t know what to do. I can not make this child happy. He calls her mom and now wants her to be his mom. His dad disrespects me in front of my son which has shown him that is ok for him to do so. My son is failing the 8th grade. I need help and do not know what to do anymore. I have not seen my son in three weeks. Unless I am spending Money or doing what my son wants he is never happy. The current situation was the ice breaker. My son wanted to play baseball this spring. I said I would not pay for it due to his grades. He now is done with me. With failing in school he should not be allowed to play but his father and step mother think it is ok. Please help…. I don’t know what to do and am scared I am losing my son. A.
Answer: Dear A.: I doubt that a single question on a Website is going to give you what you want and need. I suggest a good child psychologist and his school counselor. Your son has power that he is not able to handle. It may be that he will need to live with his dad and step-mom. I have no idea. Being raised in two households that differ so radically is making it worse, your efforts are continually being undermined, to you son’s delight.
When a child has a sense of entitlement, it is usually something he has been taught. Not that any of you intended that, but it’s still what he learned and is applying to his life on a daily basis. He hasn’t earned it. As a result, he has no sense of self-worth unless he is being indulged. Just my take, remember. You need professionals. You deserve so much better. Blessings, Luise