Question: Dear Luise: I have been reading other mothers questions about their sons hating them. I too have a son who just recently told me he hates me. He is 36 years old and married. I divorced his father when he was 6 and re-married a man who took him into his heart and helped me raise him. His biological father was an alcoholic and abused me during our 8 year marriage, so I divorced him. My son now blames me for everything. His anger is very scary. I think he may be on drugs….as well as mixing them with alcohol. His wife has asked me before to help her try to get him help with his anger. But, now, neither of them are talking to me and have totally disassociated themselves from us. It is the most painful thing I have ever felt. I cry and do not know what to do. It is so very hard to just let this happen. I raised my son with love and understanding and tried to be a mom my son could trust and rely upon. Now..I have lost him. Is there anything I should do? Can do? M.
Answer: Dear M.: You son is making his on choices and there is nothing you can do about that. On some level he knows you love him and are there for him but you are also very convenient to blame. Mothers always are. He isn’t willing to be responsible for the consequences of his actions.
Please come over to the Web-forum I created for women with issues with their adult children: www.Wise WomenUnite.com . It is a healing place for many. Blessings, Luise