Maybe He’s Ashamed of Me

Question: Dear Luise: My boyfriend hasn’t introduced me to his family after two years of being together. We talk about marriage and kids and living together but I feel that this is a big obstacle in the way. I feel that there’s a lack of commitment because when I seriously discuss moving in together he skirts around the issue or changes subjects I believe he truly loves me but I don’t understand why he won’t take me to meet his family it is very heartbreaking to me because I feel maybe he’s ashamed of me. M.

Answer: Dear M.: You are trying to guess what is going on with your boyfriend because when you ask, he is not forthcoming. Two years is a long time to still be at square one. A stalled relationship that has guessing in it is headed for trouble. If you can’t be open and honest with each other while dating, you can’t count on that ever changing. Would you like to live the rest of your life feeling like you do now?

You may be handy and he may love your handiness but he may not want anything more than that. If so, talking vaguely about marriage and kids may be his way of keeping you handy while not taking you to meet his family is more revealing of where he is coming from.  You need and deserve a lot more than that. It sounds to me like what you want and what he is willing to give are two different things. I think I’d move on, no matter how hard it is and take my self-respect with me. Blessings, Luise


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