May-September Relationships

Question: Dear Luise: I’m starting to think I’mn out of my mind even for considering it, but maybe it’s some way to be happy? I’m turning 19 this year and I’ve never really managed to make my relationships last. I’m starting to think that there’s no common language between me and mates my age. I always feel a little alienated, not really interested in their night-life, clubbing or other “exciting” activities. Since childhood I liked hanging out with people older than me, but there was just friendly relationship. Until now. I started driving course some time ago, where I met my driving instructor. We spend quite a lot time together, obviously. I would never think that I could be attracted to someone like him. He’s about twice my age. Just another ordinary guy, but I’ve noticed that I was thinking about him from time to time, and gradually I couldn’t take him off my mind. I love spending time with him, two hours of driving in his company feel like seconds… I know that he’s interested too, but he’s letting me decide if we start something. To be frank, I’m scared. I know we would work together pretty well, but I also know that my parents would do anything to stop me from getting involved. They have this perfect image of their dauthget and some nice, young preferably wealthly gentelman in their mind. Not someone older, with some broken relationships in his past. Also I know this would mean losing most of ‘friends’ my age. But on the other hand I’ve never felt so attached before. I’m missing him when we can’t meet or talk. I’m just seeking some advice. With love, W.

Answer: Dear W.: There is no easy answer to your question because we are all so different and no one that I know of can predict where a relationship might go. The most promising and conventioal may go down in flames and the least likely may thrive.

There is also no way of knowing how often your teacher finds young, female students interesting, since his line of work offers him many opportunities. Please take that into consideration.

It is my belief that you should listen to your parents and then make up your own mind. At 18, their job is nearly done and it’s time for you to start moving toward making your own decisions and choices. That’s how we all learn.

You seem wise beyond your years, to me, because you didn’t jump right in without giving it some thought. Listen to your inner counsel, as well as to others. Blessings, Luise


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