Question: Dear Luise:I have been with this guy for 4 years now. We have a son together and i have another son from a previous relationship. I recently got diagnosed with kidney cancer and have started recieving treatments. The thing is that my boyfriend is not very supportive. He tends to drink a lot and sometimes he’ll kick me, or push me down. Normally, I would hate the person doing that to me, but it’s diffrent with him..I’ve loved him since i was a teenager, he was my first love and the one who took my virginity..We broke up a few years after we first met and got in contact 12 years later…So he means a lot to me..But i’m scared that if i stay with him, my oldest son will start telling people that his dad kicks me sometimes and i cry..He kicked me only once, but it was right in the chest, infront of my son…I’m scared to leave him because i have no income (i’m doing cancer treatments) and everything we have, he payed…So i will be on the streets, sick with two small kids…That doesnt work out…What should I do?? Is there any magical pills out there intended to instantly repair a broken heart, so that broken heart doesnt affect my battle against my life?? thankyou for reading this. M.
Answer: DearM.: OK, you love him. But have you forgotten how to love yourself? If he expresses love by kicking the mother of his child in the chest…who incidentally has cancer…what does that say? It says to me the he is a bully and an abuser no matter how charming he was as a teen. He’s dangerous.
Your next step toward survival is to see what resources you have. Find an advocate to help you out of the mess you’re in. Go to your family, doctor, close friends, minister/priest, police, battered women shelter…anywhere you can for help and tell them the truth. You are not only fighting for yourself but for your kids. You deserve so much better. Blessings, Luise