Losing Grandchildren After Disagreement

Question: Dear Luise:
I am writing because the last time I have seen my grandchildren was
February 17th of this year.  My daughter and I had words and now my
worse nightmare has come true.  I forged such a sacred bond with my
little grandaughter, but not with my grandson because he didn’t take
to me as well as to a family “friend”.  This woman has taken over
completely as a mother to my daughter and a grandmother to my
grandchildren.  I am in counseling, it helps some, and just got out of
the hospital because of all of this stress and I also go to school at
night.  I feel like my heart is being ripped from my body.  They are 5
and 2 and soon my granddaughter wont’t remember me and that is killing me.  My
daughter refuses to try to work things out, and she doesn’t have to
since this other woman is in the picture.  I just don’t know what to
do next.  I don’t want to agitate my daughter further, but using the
kids as weapons is very low in my book. Maybe you have an answer that
we can’t think of. I appreciate it, thank you. M.

Answer: Dear M.: I have recieved so many posts over the years that were similar to yours that I created a Web-forum for the purpose of taking these issues beyond the question and answer venue. I felt that what was needed was a community of women helping each other through this maze of heartbreak. I, of course, am very active there, as well. Please consider coming over to www.WiseWomenUnite.com. Blessings, Luise

3 Responses to Losing Grandchildren After Disagreement

  1. D. December 22, 2012 at 9:53 am #

    What helped me through was trying to think what I could do to be the best mother possible in this situation…what would be the most loving thing to do…I’ve come to the conclusion that whether it is a step parent that is preimpting you, or great aunt, or neighbor, or grandmother, I take solace in the fact I have bowed out gracefully but for the betterment of my child, who has, as you put it, ripped my heart out but by her poor behavior. I figure it is more important that she is loved, even if, it isn’t allowed by me. With this attitude, at least I can be proud of my behavior (let peace began with me). We can only hope our grandchildren will be more evolved, as the next generation can be if by nothing else but by our actions as an example…this serves as the salve that I put on my otherwise broken heart.

  2. E. January 6, 2013 at 3:19 am #

    i have 32 year old son he want talk to me becase his girl friend trun him aginst me ihave a 6 year old grand son that i have not seen in 4 year i try every way to get along with her she is self sporit. E.

    • Luise Volta January 7, 2013 at 4:39 pm #

      E – Please come over to my Web-forum where we work on these issues…talking back and forth and sharing our experiences. It’s too complex for a question and answer site, support is needed. We are at: http://www.WiseWomen.Unite.com. I hope to see you there. Blessings, Luise

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