Question: Dear Luise: How can I help my daughter accept that fact that she doesn’t have a father in her life. (He was just passing through, as it turned out.) It’s not easy to try to cheer her up when I am very lonely, too. She longs for brothers and sisters but my attempts at relationships have been totally unsuccessful. Any advice? Maude
Answer: Dear Maude: This is one of the hardest things to reverse that I know of, but/and it CAN be done. You and your daughter are both focusing on the glaring and very obvious lacks in your lives…in your home…in your hearts. It’s so clear what’s missing and the unfairness is pretty hard to take. The cure is gratitude. Yes, I know… about what for heavens sake? Well, that’s up to you. Get a couple of notebooks and have at it. Take gratitude walks and take turns listing the things you are grateful for. See who can last the longest before she runs out of thinking of wonderful things.
Lack begets lack. Gratitude sets the stage for contentment and peace. It becomes the “norm”. You have each other. How about that?! The world is full of kids without Moms and Moms without kids. Be silly..be grateful for frogs and pin cushions. See who can get the wildest and don’t quit. Have a gratitude day. Take gratitude rides in a car or on a bus. I have a drive I often make that takes about an hour and I entertain myself by saying everything I’m grateful for out loud. I’m really tickled when I don’t run out before I get home. This is a lesson you can teach your daughter that will serve her for the rest of her life. Have fun doing it. I’m grateful you wrote! Blessings, Luise