Question: Dear Luise: i am a 28 years old girl deeply in love with a married person for last five years. he never hide about his marital status.we never planned to get married,but madly loved each other. he is 52 and is my friend,philosopher and guide and even more than that. Recently his family got to know about this relation. So we cant meet or talk like before. honestly speaking, i dont want to disturb his family life. he loves his sons very much cant live without them. i just want to see him happy at any cost.sometimes i send him sms just to know how is he,but dont get reply. i feel like he is avoiding me only because he wants see his wife happy.it hurts me and i send some messages which hurt him a lot. now he does not care to reply to my mail and does not even call me. i also told him that i dont want to continue this relation. but the fact is that, i cant live without him, because he meant everything to me. my professional life is also being suffering. i am in a respectable position today and which, i believe, is only because of his inspiration and love. does he really love me?what should i do? life becomes most painful to me. A.
Answer: Dear A.: How you feel isn’t the issue. How he can rebuild his marriage is the issue. Once trust is broken, it is gone forever. It was bound to come out, it always does.
You gave him your best and he taught you a lot. Your gratitude is clear and you have memories you cherish. Now, it’s time to start to rebuild your life, as well. You deserve better than part time love. It is normal to feel the way you do right now but don’t get stuck there, wanting what you can’t have. And don’t make any more efforts to contact him. He’s got all he can handle as it is. Be kind to yourself and remember that you were a complete person before you met him and you can be again. Give it time. Blessings, Luise