Question: Dear Luise: I have 2 adult children and am unfortunately divorced. My daughter met her husband in college and we always had a great relationship and they were married in 2004. In 2002 my ex and I moved to Fl. and my daughter and her husband traveled their several times a year to visit, but he would always refuse to come during the holidays because they have to be spent with his family. In 2005 my ex husband took a job in Michigan and we had to relocate there. Once we moved my daughters husband refused to come or allow her to visit, they now have a child and since I have been divorced he says he is afraid that my depression will rub off on my granddaughter and prohibit me to have any contact with my daughter or the baby. I have suffered from depression my entire life and he knows this, and it was never a problem until I moved from a nice vacation state to a cold state. I am heart broken, my daughter and I always had a close relationship and now that I have had to go through a very emotional divorce, I really need my daughter more than ever. What can I do? D.
Answer: Dear D.: I have created a separate Web-forum for women with issues involving adult children and extended families. The format there is dialogue, in which I always participate, but you also have the benefit of the experience of others. Please come over to: www.WiseWomenUnite.com.
We can’t change anyone. Your daughter picked her husband and his unkind treatment of you is something that is part of their relationship. She may not agree with his decision to abandon you but that’s between them. My take it that you are being used as a pawn in their power struggle.
Depression isn’t communicable…prejudice is…and that’s what he’s teaching his daughter. A radical decision might be to move back to Florida after your divorce if you feel you were happier there and let the chips fall where they may. Maybe nothing would change. Yet, who knows? Blessing, Luise