Question: Dear Luise: I have been married for decades to a man who has refused to ever listen to what I feel, want or need emotionally. I’ve tried everything, and he has always just shut himself off and closed the door. Period. Finally I have decided to go my own way and guess who is being romantic, and begging for another chance? I don’t find it encouraging, appealing or hopeful. It’s disgusting. Do you think something’s the matter with me, that I can’t get past feeling that this is a “dollar short and a day late”? What am I missing here? Bea
Answer: Dear Bea: Some women would be tickled pink, but that does not make you bad and wrong. You’re an individual and only you know what your limits are. It sounds like you may have stayed way too long and that your bitterness may run way too deep for any eleventh hour reconciliation.
I would like to suggest that giving him another chance might make you feel better in the long run. If it works, you would come out ahead, wouldn’t you? If it doesn’t, you would know you tried. The other side of the coin is that you may not have it in you. Is that the case?
It sounds like you have made it clear time and time again, to deaf ears, that you were not finding your marriage fulfilling. Now, he wants to be heard. Interesting.
It’s your call. You are the one who has been asking for years. You are the one who has decided that enough is more than enough. And you are the only one who knows if you are really done with a capital “D”. If you are…you are. Blessings, Luise