It Feels As Though He Has Died

Question: Dear Luise, My heart is broken. I can barely get out of bed. My story goes like this. I have 3 children 25,23,and 21. My oldest daughter got on crystal meth when she was about 18 and got very out of control. She went to treatment and was clean briefly. She has always smoked marijuana and taken pills. In 2008 she had my first grandchild, a little boy. She was on methadone during her entire pregnancy which I was very upset about. These clinics are a joke to me because so many people are using them as a way to get there daily fix. My daughter started using the crystal meth again in her home with my grandson there. Things between her and his father begain to get out of control. Violent fights, my daughter got into a physical altercation with some girls with her son in the car watching the whole thing. The police had been called to her home on 3 occasions in 1 month. The last time he was spending the night with me, as he did alot because we loved having him here and I new at least most of the time he was out of harms way, his dad cut his wrist and was taken to the hospital. All these things happening has been due to both of them using drugs. Moms know. The next day she wanted to come get him on and I was so upset I ask her to leave him with me for a while longer until they got under control. She got really angry of course and came to get him and when I asked her to just stay at my house with him she said no. I refused to let him go so she called the police. They came out long  story short I told them why I didnt want him to go home . The police called cps (what a joke) and they wouldnt come out because it was a saturday. The police said I had to give him to her or they had to arrest me for kidnapp. Her first words to me were you will never see him again. It has been 6 weeks and we havent seen him. My husband and I are both devastated. We had spent so much time with him it feels as though he has died. As long as he and I were paying the bills and taking care of everyting for them and kept our mouths shut all was well but the minute I tell hershe is out of control this is what she does. It never fails. Cps made her do a drug test and she has been jumping through hoops for them. This has mad her that much more angry at me so I dont know if I will ever see him again.Did I do the wrong thing? I knew he was in danger or I would have never risk losing my grandson. I cry every single day missing him so much. we were really close and he loved being here. What shall I do. It hurts so much I just want to curl up in bed and stay here, which is pretty much all I have done. M.

Answer: Dear M. You have tried everything that I can think of except seeing a lawyer. Some people have no right to have a family. The children grow up confused and abused. You should have custody of your grandson. You know it and I know it but it sounds like the authorities don’t have a clue. The little guy deserves so much better than what he’s getting. He deserves you. I’m so sorry. Blessings, Luise

2 Responses to It Feels As Though He Has Died

  1. C. June 30, 2011 at 11:36 am #

    Dear Luise,
    My daughter left my home 3 months ago with my 3 year old grandson. My husband & I helped care for him since he was 2 wks old. There was an argument a few days prior to her leaving. It was about our grandson letting his Papa know he thinks this guy she’s seeing is mean to him and makes him sleep on the floor when he goes over and he’s cold and when he asks to be with mommy on the bed were its warm he tells him no. She let us have one weekend & now she won’t even let us see him when she promised us the weekends because she works. I understand my daughters an adult & I can make her do a darn thing. I just can’t believe she would go this far. We had him constantly when they lived here. We miss him so much. I have left her messages on her phone I’ve even text her saying if we have stepped over the line were sorry what can we do to fix this? Still, no word from her. Now I hear she’s visiting her aunt (my sister) who has been estranged herself from the family for years after my mother’s death. What should I do? C.

    • Luise July 2, 2011 at 7:25 am #

      Come over to my Web-forum: http://www.Wise . It is for women who have issues with adult children and extended families. You will find support and understanding there. I hope to see you, soon. Blessings, Luise

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