Is This Just Wish-fulfillment?

Question: Dear Luise: I had tried asking this as a comment beneath your kind reply to my first query, but am not sure if it went through.  I surely understand if this one can’t be answered, but I am struggling here, so will try one more time:  How can I get myself to believe in spirits? I desperately want to believe in something like this, since my grief is filling each day with pain and longing and regret and despair.  I would love to know that my dear departed could still feel joy and feel our love and know what we are up to.  I tried to write the medium you mention and though her work is comforting and compassionate, how can I believe that the spirits somehow pick up on random emails sent to someone thousands of miles away?  If it were true, why would some things be right, but some not right? If it were truly my loved one, there would be no guessing, so wouldn’t it all be right?  How can I trust that there is no Googling or other things used in the interest of offering comfort?  How can my intellect make a bit of sense of this?  I am thirsty to believe but my mind says, ashes to ashes.  Our dead are gone, just gone.  And yet, I would love to believe; did you just remain open to the idea or did you have to somehow talk yourself into believing?  Can I get over my skepticism and embrace the idea that spirits are real, not just memories in our hearts, not just wish-fulfillment? A.

Answer: Dear A.: No one can mess with your belief system. Do you realize that we all just make up what we believe or buy what someone else made up? We don’t “know”…we can only think we know and take comfort from that.

There’s no healthy shortcut around loss and the grief it brings. Time takes us through it eventually unless we get attached to feeling lost and helpless and become victims.

I personally trust my friend, Jenny Crawford,  She is a friend of mine and I have seen her work with others one-on-one as well as myself.

If you want to connect, that’s my suggestion. Can I give you any proof or assuage your fears and suspicions, no. It’s up to you whether you want to go there or not. Blessings, Luise

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