Question: Dear Luise: My boyfriend chooses his children and his ex over me. We have been together for a while. It seems like he caters to his ex needs and whims. We had arguments but he says that he is not in love with her. One day we were going to drop off his children and his ex called and asked him to bring him a soda. He did in front of my eyes. I know she did it on purpose but he defended her and told me that I was jealous of her and I should stop harassing her. That she is a good person, that woman cheated on him more than 3 times and had children from other men and he still raised his children. I feel hurt but he is more worried about not hurting his ex feelings. I am in love with him I am just trying to find out if I am odd or there is something wrong with me. N.
Answer: Dear N. : Some people just can’t let go. No matter how much of a beating they take…they just hang in there because they have no reslf-respect.
The only one who can let go in your situation, and needs to, is you. It isn’t in your nature to play second fiddle. (Mine either.) It’s not about jealousy…it’s about being too mature to continue to play the game. Move on. He has settled for being her victim. Don’t follow suite. You deserve so much better. Blessings, Luise