Question: Dear Luise: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 years, she just recently told me that when she was 17 years old that she had an affair with her cousins husband, at the time she wasn’t with me, she was 17 and the guy was 33. Oh by the way the guy was a policeman that got fired due to his actions. Now I don’t know how to deal with all of this information, I am concern about my girlfriend moral standards, and I can’t stop thinking about it all day long, I am even going to see a doctor because I feel depressed. Please help me! What should I do? Is it possible to forget and move on? G.
Answer: Dear G.: I think you should leave her alone. Your girlfriend deserves better than your censure and lack of forgiveness. If you can’t put it in the past, it is going to continue to torment you and there’s no way your relationship is going to thrive in that atmosphere. How can she move beyond her long ago past if you won’t move beyond your hang-ups in the present? It isn’t about you or your need to judge others…(which is immoral, isn’t it?) She deserves better. Blessings, Luise