Question: Dear Luise: My friend and I have been together for 5 months now and I love him very much. The question that I have is he used to tell me that he would never love another female other than his daughter. We have an OK relationship. We argue everyday and everyday he tells me he loves me. For some reason I don’t believe he does and yet at some point in time I do. I want to believe that he does love me. So do I believe him or do you think he is just telling me what I want to hear? M.
Answer: Dear M.: I would move my focus from what he says to what he does. Words are just words. They can be totally sincere one moment and then totally insincere the next moment, depending on circumstances and moods.
Arguing every day wouldn’t work for me but we’re all different. If I had only been with someone for 5 months and we argued every day, it wouldn’t matter to me what he said about loving me…I would be concerned that one or both of us weren’t satisfied with the way things were going and quite possibly we weren’t a match.
See if you can talk about this. Find out how he feels about it and what you can do to fix it, unless you both like living in a war zone. The “I love you, do you love me?” dialogue doesn’t get to the issue (s) so you can move on to resolution. Blessings, Luise