I’m Really Sick of Being Asked Why I’m Single

Question: Dear Luise: I’m a 47 year old woman who has never been in a live-in relationship or married. People, sometimes relative strangers, are always asking me why I’m single. Sometimes there is the implied assumption that I haven’t been asked. I’m getting really sick of it! Do you have any suggestions or observations you could offer me? Thank you, Beverly

Answer: Dear Beverly: It appears that you have chosen a path that may spark the curiosity of those who have taken the middle of the road. I saw a movie once about several, single women who decided to marry total strangers so they could get divorced and fit a more familiar pattern! No, I’m not suggesting that as a solution, but the movie did highlight some of the issues singles often have to cope with. Please take a close, honest look to see if you can determine if you are just bored with this rudeness or if you feel some element of defensiveness. Did you want to marry, and Mr. Right just never came along? Or do you feel contemptuous, perhaps, of the married state for some reason? If you find anything like that, you may want to work through it so you can see these inquiries without reactive filters. Also, there’s a chance that some of these people feel intimidated by your choice. It may cause them to look back at their own decisions with a jaundiced eye. There are endless possibilities. The truth is, it’s your business! That’s the core issue here. How to answer such questions…what to say and how to say it, must be very challenging. If it were me, I think I might come up with something like “I’m not very interested in answering questions. I’d much rather ask them. So…did you marry? How’d it go?” Blessings, Luise

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