Question: Dear Luise: I am 48, divorced, 15 yr old daughter at home. I have a good job with good insurance. I was in a volatile marriage for many years to the father of all 3 of my children. Their father is 64 and recently let go after a 20+ yr job as a superintendent of a construction firm. No insurance for him. He has helped me financially in many ways. I offered him a marriage to allow him to have insurance. He has diabetes and high blood pressure to name a few. I am in financial ruins. I would keep my maiden name, live in my house with our daughter/ I am a Christian women. I know in my heart this is wrong. I just feel obliged to help him with the insurance. What say you? L.
Answer: Dear L.: I say it is an incredibly Christian thing to do. There is no law that says married people have to live together that I know of. I have heard of many exceptions over the years for various reasons.
I did that once. My husband was unfaithful and I divorced him. Later when our house sold, we found that because of the difference in our ages I was exempt from the capital gains tax but he was liable for it…and the amount was huge.
I remarried him before that tax year ended, even though he was living with the “other woman” because I felt in my heart that it was the right thing to do. After the marriage, which took place on his lunch hour, we went out to eat with our two friends who stood up for us and then went our separate ways. We told the judge that married us our story and asked if we had to promise anything and he said, “No…just sign here.” There was no “ceremony.” Remember, ” Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?” You can’t beat the Golden Rule.
You sound like a fine, compassionate woman to me. Blessings, Luise