Question: Dear Luise: I am a very lucky woman who is happily married to her love for last 11 yrs. My husband is very loving and caring but he doesnt talk much. Now when I was in college, I had a good friend and we had a deep connection emotionally too but we both never said anything to eachother. After college we lost touch and went ahead with our lives. I didnt miss him nor did he ever crossed my mind in all these years. But some months back he called and told me that he has missed like hell and cannt forgive himself for not realising that I was his true love. He is married and has two kids too. My problem is that since he has told me and he calls me up every now and then, I have started thinking about him and he crosses my mind to often now which is bothering me…infact I have started hating myself for doing so. I do not wish to think about him as I feel thats also kind of cheating and I wouldnt wanna cheat with my husband..Pls advise me as to what should I do to be happy agn….i know its so childish at my age….but I seriously need some mature advise…pls help…tks …C.
Answer: Dear C.: The same thing happened to me many years ago. My life was pretty quiet and settled and this guy just appeared out of my past. It felt so exciting and romantic. I felt guilty and shallow and superficial but I was also flattered and intrigued.
The way I got through it was to realize that Mr.Wonderful had no ethics. He was selfish and self-absorbed to contact me behind his wife’s back and he did not have the kind of character I respect. I felt I had made a narrow escape and I told him so. That was the end of that. Blessings, Luise