Question: I have three sons and a daughter ages 25,23,21,14 .I am going through a divorce of a 25 year marriage and the mother of my kids turned all of them against me except the 14 year old ,I miss my kids they don’t want nothing to do with me .I also have 4 grandchildren that they don’t let me see .I need help in understanding my situation with my kids always been their for them and loved them .please give me some advice in how to handle this. A.
Answer: Dear A.: What a deep and very real sadness you are having to face. You have so much to give but the door has been closed, at least for now, between you and your adult children and their families. They made that choice, which as adults they have the right to do, but their mother influenced them and they are unable to see though the manipulation. It is beyond understanding.
All you can do that I know of is to be open to receiving them back into your life, should they see what has transpired…and what is it costing everyone. It happens. In the meantime do the best you can with your youngest to help her see that none of this is her fault. Children often take on what isn’t theirs to carry.
You did a fine job raising your family and you must know that you deserve so much better. See that you were whole before you became a family man and you can be whole again. Let yourself move through the grief and loss you are experiencing when you can and look to see what would bring you joy. Much of your life is still ahead of you. Blessings, Luise