Question: My mother in law lied on me and does not give me my respect. From the moment I met her, her 1st words to me were “Hi. How are you? What is your name?” With a snippet tone. When I answered with my name, she replied, “do you have a last name?” again…very snippet. I replied “yes” and sat down. I do admit; I gave her a snippet response because I did not like the way she responded to me. No more communication came from that until my then fiance’ and I were planning our wedding. She was upset that I didn’t put her daughter as a bridesmaid. I didn’t because she had previously informed me that she didn’t know me and didn’t want to get to know me. I had never had any contact with her to make her feel such a way toward me. More recently, I found out that there was life insurance purchased for my children. My husband and I were not aware of this BEFORE she purchased it. It wasn’t necessary for her to purchase it; they have a policy already. I feel that even after I mentioned they have a policy and don’t need anything additional, that she ignored my feelings and did it anyway. When I found out, I was furious! I spoke to my husband about it. Called the insurance company to get more clarification. Still didn’t like it and asked my husband to talk to his mom about it. When he did talk to her, she said she’d cancel it. When she called to cancel it, she became upset because I told insurance company she didn’t have our permission (they asked me and I told them). So she called me very upset…yelling/screaming in phone and for what? She didn’t even need to call me. Where she lied is when she called to get her family involved. First, this has nothing to do with them and second, she didn’t tell the truth. She told them she called me to see if she could visit my children and when I returned her call I “cursed” her out about the insurance. She subsequently turned this around to make herself the victim…sending text messages to her family saying she can’t wait to meet “her Maker” and forgetting conversations. All of this is making me feel like she may be Bi-Polar or have some form of Dementia. AND…because of her calling her family, her siblings are now having and exchange of words with me via computer or threatening to fight my husband because he didn’t “defend his mother from his wife verbally attacking her” All of this has really put me in a bad head spin. It’s to the point that I don’t want to be around her. I don’t want to take my children around her which I did quite regularly whether my husband was around or not. When her family came to visit, I took my off day to take my children to visit them so she would not feel I was trying to ostracize her. But now with these suicidal talks and bi-polar type attitudes, I don’t want to be around her. Because of her calling her family to speak bad of me, I don’t know if she’d do it around my children. And because the relationship is now severed (since she can’t be woman enough to apologize for overstepping her boundaries, ignoring me and lying on me) At this point she can only see them if my husband is around because I don’t want to be around her. I really didn’t want it to be like this. I’ve never experienced anything like this and I’m drained. I give up (on this situation). I’m reaching out for any advice on one last tip of what to do here. Otherwise…I’m done. J.
Answer: Dear J. Please come over to www.WiseWomenUnite.com. I set it up for your kind of a question in a discussion format. I hope to see you there. Blessings, Luise