Question: I am writing because my heart is completely broken. Our only son , who my husband & I adopted when he was 2 months old while we were working as missionaries in Mexico, did not contact ne on mother’s day for the first time in 19 years. I homeschooled him until the 5th grade and we were very close. He is extremely bright conceptually but struggled more than any student I have worked with ( I am a reading teacher) academically. He is dyslexic, dysgraphic and had dyscalculia as well. He is very strong socially and wins people over well. Because he is our only child he wanted to go to school when he could read so we first enrolled him in a small private school, but transferred to the public school in 7th grade. He worked hard but became discouraged when his efforts didn’t “cure” his learning difficulty. We always applauded his efforts. I advocated for him to ensure he had all the accommodations he would need if he chose to go to college & he resented my efforts. We caught him with pot and expressed our concern and tried to go to counseling together but he refused and the counselor said it would not benefit him if he did not want to be there. Not long after that during his junior year, he asked me to home school him so that he could try to make new friends but he struggled with loneliness and went back his senior year. He apologized and was respectful at home and was always willing to help out until he turned 18 and started to become disrespectful. Around that time, he started seeing a girl who was 16 into his room and told us they were not dating. When we realized they were we told him we were no longer comfortable with them being in his room & he got really mad at us. He left home a month and a half ago to work for a construction company as a framer and is living with a friend who’s dad owns the company. He and his dad use to hunt & surf together and it seems the friends he is spending time with have different values than he was raised with. He has come home for a few min randomly to get some of his things but he has let us know that he is mad and wants nothing to do with us. My heart is broken and I can’t stop crying. I went back to school to finish my masters and will graduate after I finish student teaching but I am having a hard time getting through the day. I feel like I’ve dedicated my life to loving and caring for someone who now hates me. What do you think are the chances of him becoming the healthy connected young man we raised him to be? S. PS. I tried to find the mom chat board but the link dosent work.
Answer: Dear S.: Please try again: www.WiseWomenUnite.com Blessings, Luise