I Am Very Hurt

Question: We have two god children, a son who turns 17 in a week and a daughter 19.  We have been like second parents to them and always have been very generous on special occasions.  Last year we were all on a trip together had some issues with our god son.  It was mainly over some misunderstanding and lack of communication. The remainder of the trip was horrible because of the way he acted towards us.  He never appologized to us.  Some month later I send him an e-mail and I apologized for my wrong assumptions.  I thought things would get back to normal. Even though he seemed like he was still holding a grudge I send him money last Christmas.  We had a little weekend visit last May and it was obvious that things were not the same.  He treated us like strangers and only spoke when spoken to.  He is a good student and overall a good kid.  I’m trying to decide if I should continue to send him money for his birthday.  I know he would call to say thank you, but after that we would not hear anything from him until the next check. I guess if he was younger I could be more forgiving of his behaviour.  I am very hurt by the way he has treated us since last year.  Should we send him a check or just a card without. E.

Answer: Dear E.: I think I would set an example and let him know what forgiveness looks like. He is young and has a lot to learn. I would continue treating them the same. You have a long history and you love him. He may not be very likable right now…but your love can carry you over the hurt. Blessings, Luise

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