Question: Hi,I’m a mother of two sons,ages 32 and 27.my jungest son got married first.he has a wonderful life,the second child on the way.his wife and i have no problems,we get along just fine.my older son got married a year ago.his wife is from Russia,i own a house.i opend my arms and door for her,i paid for the wedding..bought everything for my grandchild.let them live in my house.before my son got married we had a good relationship, now everything is falling apart. It has come to the point that my son won’t even look at me.my son made a discion,to leave the country.He went over seas by him self,left his wife child and dog with me to take care of.she did not drive,cook,clean.or take proper care of her child.there were arguments everyday,i came to the point where i could not take it anymore.so i told my daughter in law to stay with my ex husbund for awhile.my son was not here to see and here what was going on.now he won’t speak to me,or look at me anymore.i know that she controls him,that is not my son anymore.i have alwas helpt him,and been there for him.gave him alot of money,now I’m broke to the point that i have to give up my house. i lost the relationship with my son,and it hurts so so much.what can i do? C.
Answer: Dear C.: All you can do that I know of is to get that you did your best. You deserve so much better than what you got but there is nothing that is going to change that. Your son has made choices that have had devastating effects in your life. It’s time to shift your focus to yourself. Let them go and wish them well. You may also want to come over to my Web-forum for women who have unresolved issues with adult children and extended families. www.WiseWomenUnite.com It is a very supportive community and a lot of healing takes place there. Blessings, Luise